our eyes are not big enough

I read something the other day that one of my friends posted about consistency being how they could feel and recognize Jesus.

It was interesting because I almost immediately disagreed with it. In fact, at least in my experience (whether it’s right or correct or not), I feel Jesus the least when my life is consistent. I think that’s why everything here has been so difficult for me.

I feel Jesus the most when I am out of my comfort zone, when I am insecure or when I’m forced to try something new. I feel Jesus when I smell pungent new smells, and see the colorful canvas of the wide world and free fall into the rolling plains. I feel Jesus when I have nothing but Jesus, and my words are inadequate because they aren’t understood. I feel Jesus when I don’t know what’s coming next and when I have to wait for Him to tell me what to do. I feel Jesus in the adventure—in the freedom from monotony and routine and obligation.

Sometimes I think Jesus is my only consistency in life, and I like it that way. I like the imagery of He and I, roaming around together. He’s the one who said a prophet isn’t accepted in his own town and the one who spent time traveling all around with twelve guys loving and caring for people all over—and it wasn’t even at His home.

Praise the living God—it is alright.

Jesus wandered.
Jesus wandered with purpose.
And Jesus is with me.

The joke is on both of us because Jesus is present in both the consistent monotony and the wild adventure. Maybe our eyes are not big enough to see Him as He really is, in all His splendor—being fully wild and fully dependable, fully God and fully man, fully strong and fully soft.

Oh, what a wonderful life it is to share with such a Creator.

“He’ll be coming and going” he had said. “One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down–and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.” 

 C.S. LewisThe Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe


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