write about finishing: day 31

“This is it, day 31! You’ve done it! Congratulations. Write about what it feels like to finish something, to be victorious in a goal. This was a marathon, not a sprint. Who cares if you missed a day here or there, or if it took a little longer than you expected? The point is that you finished and that’s worth celebrating. So write these last 500 words with joy, knowing you’ve run the race and done the work. Hopefully, this is just the beginning.”

I like that the prompt today encouraged me to celebrate, even though I took roughly a ten day hiatus with blogging after consistently writing for about 26 of the scheduled days. It was just the amount of grace I needed to feel like I actually accomplished what I set out to do with this challenge.

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Challenges and goals are funny things, because I think we all go into them with certain expectations on how we want things to go. I wanted to write every single day, come hell or high water, and only then would I feel accomplished. I might as well be consistent with things every day since all I do is work; my free time should be solely dedicated to accomplishing goals.

I’m pleased to report that my daily writing, which I was doing based on an abundance of alone time, was hijacked by a surprisingly busy and social few weeks. For the first time in a while I was actually going out and spending time with people instead of pensively clacking away at my keyboard. It’s good for me to be relationship oriented instead of always measuring myself with goals; that goes for my interactions with writing as well.

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When it comes right down to it and I have a chance to write, if I’m looking at it as a goal that only needs to be accomplished, I miss the pleasure and joy that I usually find in just naturally and candidly expressing myself. I don’t want to spend time writing, I want to check it off my list; I think that attitude doesn’t bode well for my writing career any more than it would in any other sort of relationship.

I haven’t spent enough time in recent days meditating on where I want to go from here in my writing. I have this idea of twice weekly topic blogging, but have yet to really hash out what I want that to look like. I think re-reading the prompts from the past 31 days to see what really made me come alive and just unapologetically focus on those things for my bi-weekly blogs. We’ll see!

Meanwhile, I really do celebrate getting through this. I started strong, lagged off and came back at the end, and for my personality that’s a really difficult thing to endure. I’m fighting the perfectionist in me that’s trying to control my every movement in life. A job well done is one thing; refusing to finish a job because you stumbled or stressed along the way is another and that’s not the kind of legacy I want to leave behind in life.

For now, I am here. I finished! I made it. And I am thankful. It’s a small accomplishment, but I appreciate the relationship I’ve developed with writing more than anything else. It’s something good, so I celebrate that.

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